Tuesday, 8 November 2011


Hello peeps,

Sorry its been a while but life has been rather busy with travel, puppies and work!!

Today's journey is the start of a new path, highway, road or motorway as I'm now looking at it.  So, I am having a mini-me, a miniature version of myself - god help you all!!  I thought that the mould had been broken but apparently half survived and has allowed pro-creation! :)

So, I am now going to chronicle my new journey - I shall try and avoid sharing the majority of the gory details with you (for fear you may never read my blog again!) and also as I'm sure many of you can probably fill in the blanks - if not, put questions on a postcard, in approx 5-13 weeks it may be delivered courtesy of Royal 'Snail' Mail and then I shall respond and return so that you get an answer, rough turnaround approximately 7 months - baby may even be here then!

Anyway, I digress!  The tale shall start from moment that I found out I was 'with child' - I sound biblical now, not really meaning to but people appear to find it distasteful when I say that I am host to a parasitic being.  It is true - check the Chambers definition of parasite and you shall see I tell no lies - anyway back on topic, so I go to work and have a feeling that something is just not right and decide that 'What the hell, let's get a test and put my mind at ease(yeah right!)'  On way to work I drop into a well known bum-slapping supermarket and purchase a two pack (just in case!)  and I trot to work.  Now , not meaning to be gross but for those who are unaware - you have to pee on a stick.  Not any old stick but a special stick.  At time of arrival at work I had already emptied the tank so had to wait for a few hours and re-fuel.  At 10.45 am ( a time I will take to my grave) I feel ready and Operation 'Mind at ease' commences, I sneak a stick into pocket and make my way to the first floor toilets.  The necessary is done and the three minute Countdown clock starts - one line, test is working, wait......wait.......wait......nearly two miutes gone and there is a second line gradullay appeaing, very faint, ok.....panic.....where are the instructions?  In pocket, ok.....read.....read......one line test is working- got that bit, what about two?  Is that yes you are or no you aren't?  read.....read.....read......found it, two lines - Pregnant, but maybe not as the tests apparently can lie in 1% of cases but normally they are pretty good.  Ok, breath......check time......3 minutes gone......look at stick.....definately two lines, not one, two.....ok.....think....two lines - two people, me and a very minute mini-me in creation.....what do I do?  I'm at work, must go home and tell Mike, he may want to know as soon as possible......should I go home now or at lunchtime?  Especially as he has just come off a late shift and is sleeping.....nope, need to tell someone or I will pop!  So I calmly leave the cubicle - lines are now sinking in and I start grinning like a mad thing!  Its actually pretty cool - I'm going to be a mum and get to tell someone what to do, what not to do and how not to act like me!  I make my way downstairs, into the office and excuse myself for an early lunch - its ok as I'm leaving early anyway.  I drive home carefully - there are two passengers now and only one seatbelt, must be safe.  I get home in one piece and make my way in.  Mike is sound asleep and stirs when I walk into the bedroom - Why are you grinning?' he asks as I enter the room.  'Just pleased to see you'  I'm good at this, how many more rational normal answers can I give before I explode?  'Am I late getting up?' 'No, its just gone 11'  I respond - stil normal, the facade will slip soon, I'm sure of it.  'Why are you back so early?' he asks still looking very sleepy - 'Cos I think we are going to have a baby' I say very calmly - I even impressed myself 'Do you fancy a cup of tea?' I finish.  There was a look of utter astonishment and then 'Bugger'  Not a response I was expecting but he was still asleep at the time, pretty much anyway!  Lunchtime ends and I return to the office, I'm still impressing myself with my calm exterior and gradually tell people after family and friends are told, various reasons behind this - mainly because Mike finds it hard to keep certain secrets and its actually quite cool news - for once I knew the gossip first!!  So I tell peeps at work and some say they knew anyway and some guessed - many ask how and when did you find out and are astonished that I did the test at work.  One even said 'I can't believe you did the test in the first floor toilets!'  My response was 'well would you rather I peed on the stick in the middle of the office?'  Distasteful look - must remember some people do not understand Manfa humour - I hope that Chiplet does (that is the new name for baby parasite as 'it' seems very impersonal and reminds me too much of a deranged alien spider clown thing from Stephen King fame) And now the excitement starts, I have to try and fit into my normal clothes with an ever expanding waistline - never easy, get used to new aches and pains, having no bladder control and craving marmite inbetween bouts of nausea and sickness -  its really attractive!  Not to mention now being in the care of the National Health Service - I have high hopes bearing in mind the first doctor I saw looked and sounded like Yoda, then waiting 2 weeks for a midwife to call to then arrange an appoitment to see me in 3 weeks time - its a good job that I know that I'm not allowed certain foods and stuff cos otherwise Chiplet would have been inundated with lager and mayonnaise, not to mention the coffee! 

That's enough for now - tiredness is setting in again and too much of a good thing can sometimes be bad (hark at me!)  Anyway, ta ta for now - if you would like to assist in the Maternity Clothes or Baby range just remember that Denim is a must have, really not so keen on shoulder pads! x

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