Hey happy travellers! Welcome back and sorry for the blog delay - put it down to personal turmoil! Never one to be downbeat for long though - here I am back and raring to go- ok, we'll just say I'm back for now!!
I have been wallowing in the dark space in my mind recently, the part near the back of the eye-just behind the nostrils and trawling through the mental journals - doing a little spring cleaning of the memory matter - boy, it gets dusty back there! Its the place where all little nuggets of life are kept safe so that one day they can pop back up -BOO! Here I am, forget I was here?
So trawling through the dross, I come across memories of seasons past - good times, bad times and indescriminate times, things that were good, bad and ugly, days I never wanted to end and days that will be permanently etched in the grey matter like a eulogy on a headstone. The only consolation is I survived and whilst the scars slowly fade but never really heal, at least the pain becomes bearable - just!
Whilst examining the scars of a time I would rather forget but feel will be with me for my remaining years, however numerous they may or may not be, I come across the question of faith and trust. Is there one without the other? I believe not - you have to trust to have faith and you have to have faith to trust - I come to a dead end here. What happens when all your faith and trust have been shredded? Dessicated like coconut and scattered across the path of life? What can you do to remain a balanced individual, a good natured person who wants to see the best in everybody and gives all they can but never really gets anything back in return? Who can you trust? Do you trust officials - people sworn to protect but who flout their position and hide behind it - who make you feel guilty, almost the perpetrator of THEIR actions when really you are the victim of them? Who do you then put your faith in? The people who make you feel guilty for being in the wrong place at the wrong time - the blame gets pushed back on you.
So now, there is very little faith and trust left in the small place behind the nostrils, I'm trying to work on it but its quite delicate to get the balance right - forgive me if I slip, normal service should resume, just not too sure when - at least denim is still in fashion, still can't stand the shoulder pads! Oh, I cracked a smile - my wit will continue whatever!
Bring your passports next time travellers, we are going on a journey! x