Saturday, 14 August 2010

Fairies - they ARE real, I have proof!

Being a female, there are certain tasks that one has to do - washing up, apparently ladies have smaller feet so we can stand closer to the sink, cleaning the bathroom - ok, there's not a physical reason that we have to do that but most men just don't want to, that's what I have found in my experience anyway!  And then there is the washing - of clothes I mean.  The endless task of sorting into colours, putting clothes in machine, adding powder and conditioner otherwise they come out dirty and solid as a rock, turning on to the correct programme and then waiting to spin after wash is finished, remove items into a basket, load next lot, repeat cycle and in the meantime hang out the wet stuff to dry.  Repeat ad infinitum.  It's the task that never ends.  As soon as you finish, more appears.  Anyway, where does the proof that Fairies exist come into this?  I hear you screaming at the screen?  Well, here it comes.....when I take clothes off and put into the basket for washing, two socks come off.  I sort into colours and yes, I have confirmed as I like to check these things, two socks go into the machine, the cycle runs and .... low and behold, one comes out of the machine!  There is a washing machine Fairy.  I haven't actually seen this creature and I presume it (not sure whether male, female or homogenous yet) is very tiny, there are only very small holes in the machine to escape, I make sure the door is always securely fastened when not in use as household accidents account for the majority of A  and E admissions in this day and age, I digress, I apologise.  So anyway, this creature has a strange fascination with socks, very bizarre really, I mean what does it do with them - it must have hundreds by now based on the credit card bills I have for replacing all my missing socks.  They go in machine and never come out.  Don't fear, I have tried removing the filter in the machine, 1) in order to track down said creature and dispose of in a way as humane as possible, I'm sorry but the bills for new socks are getting out of hand and 2)In order to check that there isn't a more plausible reason for the 'Mystery of the missing socks' such as the filter is sucking them out of the actual drum.  And the Fairy does not just limit itself to a life of seclusion in the washing machine, it also appears to like vacations to the Fridge, where any goodies which have been stored for later appreciation, such as bars of chocolate or yummy cakes, will also go missing without a trace.  Poof, gone.  Its very concerning.  I am hoping that the Fairy is nice and not cannibalistic, I have read in some texts not to trust these strange creatures as they can turn on you without warning and am glad that I haven't encountered said creature face to face.  I am concerned when I do the washing that one day, I will find the creature red handed, pilfering one of my socks or goodies from the fridge - what will I do?  unfortunately, the creature doesn't appear to have changed its taste in fashion (long live denim, not so keen on shoulder pads), socks, or should I say sock appears to be the thing to have.  Where do they take them to, would I find a land furnished with sock settees, sock carpets and little sock cars?  Does the creature eat them, if so, why the occassional binge in my fridge - its all very concerning.
So until the time I actually catch the creature, I may have to walk round bare foot and with cold feet unless I find a new way to furnish its footy fetish

Anyway, I shall walk with you on another journey soon, bare footed in future  x

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